Still Afraid of Weight Gain? Here's What Deserves Your Attention Instead

Here's a truth bomb diet culture still doesn't want you to hear: Muscle is your lifeline. And it deserves way more hype than a shrinking number on the scale.

Let's get straight to it:

Why are you so afraid of gaining weight?

No, really — don't just skim past this like it's another "cute" Instagram caption.

Grab a pen and some paper. (Or type it in your notes app if you're feeling fancy.) 

Unless you're currently juggling a coffee, a dog leash, and your sanity — in that case, finish what you're doing, then come back. 

When you're ready, scribble down a few thoughts that pop into your head. No editing, no trying to sound wise and evolved — just whatever pops into your head. No grades will be handed out; there are no right or wrong answers. 

Go ahead — I’ll wait. 

If you're game to share it with me later, I'd love to hear what came up.

(And if your first thought is "because the 90s diet culture broke my brain," congratulations — you're already halfway to the truth.)

Because here's the thing: until you get curious about your why, you'll stay stuck chasing goals that never actually deliver the freedom, strength, or joy you deserve.

And when I say "chasing," I mean it.

We've been marinating in weight loss culture since we were old enough to hear adults say things like:

• "You have such a pretty face — if only you lost a little weight."
• "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
• "Are you sure you're going to eat that?"

Sound familiar?

It's no wonder that many of us internalized a powerful fear that gaining weight automatically means losing worth, health, attractiveness, or control.

But let's pause right here and ask a bigger, better question:

Is a thinner body actually the key to better health or more happiness?

(If it were, wouldn't we all be blissfully thriving after that first successful diet?)

The truth?

A thinner body does not guarantee better health. It does not guarantee happiness.

In fact, chasing thinness at all costs often leads to worse health, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

It can mean disordered eating, overexercising, underfueling, chronic stress, burnout, and losing touch with your body's actual needs.

Meanwhile, what does consistently predict better health outcomes, stronger longevity, and a better quality of life?

Muscle.

Glorious, life-sustaining muscle.

The very thing most women have been taught to ignore or even fear ("Won't lifting weights make me bulky?")

Fat Gain vs. Muscle Loss: What Actually Matters

I've said this before, and it still doesn't get said enough, but needs to be shouted from every rooftop:

Gaining fat, especially modest fat gain as we age, is far less problematic than losing muscle.

Let me say that again because it's that important: Carrying a little extra body fat is not what will rob you of your independence, your ability to travel, to garden, to pick up your grandkids, to dance at weddings, or to simply live the life you want to live.

Losing muscle will.

Muscle is what keeps you functional, strong, and resilient. It protects your joints. It supports your metabolism. It helps regulate your blood sugar and hormone balance. It keeps you mobile. In short, muscle is your life insurance policy.

But here's the kicker: Despite the mountains of evidence, the diet and fitness industries still sell fat loss as the ultimate goal, wrapped up in ever-new, shinier packages.

Because you know what sells faster than a boring old reality check?

A promise to "fix" you.

To "transform" you.

To make you "bikini ready in 6 weeks!"

We've seen it all before, haven't we?

Let's take a quick walk down memory lane:

• The Fat-Free Craze: Remember when everything was labeled "fat-free" and we thought eating a sleeve of SnackWell's cookies was "healthy" because they had no fat? (And also no taste?) Good times.
• The Low-Carb Mania: Carbophobia swept the nation, and suddenly people were terrified of bananas and carrots. Turns out bananas are having their evil come back right now with tons of influencers telling you they are the worst, right behind oatmeal. I'm so tired of this. 
• Detoxes and Juice Cleanses: Because apparently the liver and kidneys needed help...from $300 green juices.
• "Toning" Workouts: Women were warned they'd "bulk up" if they lifted anything heavier than a small houseplant.
• Cleanses, Wraps, Fat-Melting Creams: Entire industries popped up promising to melt fat without effort. (Spoiler: they didn't.)
• Diet Drugs and "Miracle Pills": Some of which had terrifying side effects like heart issues, anxiety, and, in some cases, fatal consequences.  

And here we are, decades later, still bombarded by shiny new versions of the same old nonsense — now labeled "biohacking" or "hormone balancing" or "metabolic reset."

Same fear. Different packaging.

When Will We Learn?

If extreme dieting, shrinking ourselves, and obsessing over the scale actually led to the outcomes we crave — strength, health, happiness — we wouldn't need a "new" plan every January 1st.

We wouldn't be facing rising rates of osteoporosis, sarcopenia (muscle loss), depression, and chronic disease in midlife.

The truth is this: We have been sold the wrong dream. Over and over and over.

It's time to wake up.

It's time to shift the focus where it actually belongs.

Muscle Is the Mission

Building and preserving muscle must become the priority.

Especially if you care about:

• Staying active and independent for decades to come
• Reducing the risk of falls, fractures, and metabolic diseases
• Keeping your energy levels strong
• Boosting your confidence, posture, and even your mood
• Aging vibrantly — not just aging

Strength training isn't just about aesthetics (although hey, strong glutes do look fantastic in jeans — bonus!).

It's about choosing function over fear.

Freedom over fixation.

As Sophia from the Golden Girls would say: "Imagine this:"

You're 80 years old.

You get up off the floor without needing a hand.

You travel, you hike, you dance, you garden, you pick up your grandkids with ease.

You carry your groceries without blinking.

That's muscle magic.

That's the future you build by shifting your focus NOW.

So, Next Time the Fear Creeps In…

Next time you find yourself panicking over the scale creeping up a few pounds, or your jeans fitting differently, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:

• What am I really afraid of?
• Am I chasing a feeling weight loss promised me? (e.g., feeling more loved, worthy, accepted)
• Or am I ready to build the strength and resilience I actually deserve?

Here's the reality:

A few extra pounds of fat might mean absolutely nothing in terms of your actual health. But a loss of muscle? That's something you will feel over time — in ways that deeply impact your freedom, your joy, and your ability to live fully.

Choose the bigger picture.

Choose strength.

Choose real health.

Because not only does muscle look good on you, but it also feels good on you.

Now What?

If you're ready to start shifting the focus, here are three small but powerful steps you can take today:

1. Start strength training — even just twice a week. Your future self will thank you.
2. Celebrate what your body can do, not just how it looks.
3. Ditch the scale obsession. Track your strength, your stamina, your energy, your quality of life — those are your real metrics of success.

Have thoughts, questions, or aha moments after reading? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to email me — my inbox is always open. [email protected]