It's Time For a Different Type of Valentine's Day
Feb 14, 2024![valentine's day and menopause](https://kajabi-storefronts-production.kajabi-cdn.com/kajabi-storefronts-production/file-uploads/blogs/2147484179/images/5638737-dee-e3c-c2f2-ab3806c48e20_valentines_day.png)
Does the thought of Valentine’s Day stress you out or make you feel melancholy? If so, I’m not surprised. Every year, promoters of this so-called “special day” ramp up for record-breaking sales of useless products, luring customers with questionable free advice. Women in middle age can be particularly vulnerable.
Need a 10-step guide on how to groom yourself for maximum sexiness--in the eyes of a partner, of course? Don’t worry, you’re just a click away! My own quick search brought up these gems:
“Three Ways to Look Great on Valentine’s Day”--okay, but why just one day out of 365?
“Naughty Valentine’s Day Ideas”--okay, but one woman’s “naughty” is another woman’s “ludicrous laugh riot.”
Here’s my favorite, courtesy of the Huffington Post: “Valentine’s Day For The Menopausal Woman: How To Feel Like A Sexy Twenty-Something Again.” The author shares priceless tips such as wearing lingerie with built-in Spanx (you wouldn’t want things just hanging everywhere, right?), chocolate-flavored lube (because your natural taste is unacceptable, right?) and a clean bikini line (what does the word “clean” mean in this context? Your guess is as good as mine.)
Finally, be prepared! (This sounds really ominous. Should I bring pepper spray?)
Women in menopause are already bombarded with product advertisements geared to fix the familiar “negative side effects”--saggy skin, dry vagina, moodiness--as well as a few less familiar problems. Naughtiness deficit, for example. Or looking your age, whatever that means. Or something in the belly region that can only be fixed by surgery--or extreme underpants compression, in a pinch.
The worst of all these seriously unhelpful messages is that menopause causes women to lose their sex appeal; that sex is a young woman’s game, and if you can’t figure out how to roll the clock back several decades, good luck. Is it any wonder that 80% of menopausal women report having body image issues similar to those experienced during puberty?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but here’s an idea: ignore the made-up Hallmark messages and make this day about loving yourself, being kind to yourself, and spending quality time with yourself and your besties. Give yourself the gift of a break from harmful cultural messages and ridiculous expectations. And don’t let anyone tell you you’ve aged out of sex, with or without a partner.
Finally, you can’t go wrong with a good, tasteless lube and some excellent dark chocolate, for an antioxidant boost.
You’re welcome.
Happy Valentine’s Day.